5 weeks

{I just wanted to put this out here so I can look back and remember how I felt in this moment....I may feel completely different next week!}

Last week one of my friends mentioned something about there being 6 weeks until school starts.  Initially I felt excitement and then panic quickly set in.  I couldn't help but think to myself, how can we be down to 6 weeks and we haven't even begun to do everything we've planned to do this summer!?!  Now I sit here a week later and we're already down to only 5 weeks until the first day of school (yep, we start on a Friday)  and I'm already thinking about buying school supplies!  This summer if flying by for the most part...however if I were being completely honest, I'd say on that on some days it feels as if  it's going at a snails pace (like today when the boys fought ALL DAY LONG...thank goodness mom and dad watched the boys tonight so Darren and I could have a date night.  I was able to regain what little sanity I have left!).

What I'm about to admit will surprise no one more than I surprised myself when it happened!  Over the past week I've found myself in tears and losing sleep over the fact that Coby is going to be in the fourth grade and that Cale is going to be a first grader (I had my tears over Connor going to middle school last year so I'm OK about him at the moment!) in FIVE short weeks.  When it comes to Coby going to 4th grade I just can't help but worry.  Fourth graders at our school actually rotate between classes.  I feel like it's at this point that things get REAL in hurry.  School is no longer just fun and games.  My biggest concern is that because the kids rotate, I feel that the teachers don't really get to know each child very well.  I remember so well that Connor's 4th grade year was the first time he had a teacher that I didn't really get to know (the 4th grade teachers in our school don't necessarily welcome the parental volunteer help that the lower grade teachers do).  It feels like the teachers have so many expectations at this age and they are a little bit less tender (for lack of a better word) with the kids.  And I hate this for Coby.  Coby is the only one of my boys that really needs compassion/sensitivity and a teacher that understands him.  He is such a special boy and I just want him to be treated as such. I SO hope that he gets a teacher that understands and appreciates who he is.  That's all.  I'll just have to keep praying about this because I'm so unsettled about this right now.

As for Cale...I cannot believe my baby is in first grade already.  First grade is the hardest year for me to deal with as a mom.  I'd be lying if I said I'm not excited when each of my boys go to school all day, but it always makes me sad for the boys when they have to face going to school 7 hours a day vs the 2.5 hrs they went in Pre-K and Kindergarten.  That is a HUGE difference and I worry.  I know Cale will be fine and will quickly adapt to the longer school day just as his brothers did, but I just feel sad for him.  It's going to be an adjustment for the both of us.  He and I have spent the past few years hanging out from 10:30-3 all by ourselves.  He's definitely a mommy's boy and I think he (and I) will miss our time together.  I know he'll be alright in time...it's just those initial first weeks of the school year that I really dread.

This is such a weird time for me.  All of my boys will be in school all. day. long.  What will I do with myself?  haha  I have PLENTY to keep me busy while they're in school, but it will be odd having seven hours of quiet.  Maybe I'll finally get and keep caught up with the house and laundry.  That would certainly be a change...one that Darren would welcome I'm sure!  We'll see... :)